Goblin Dropswith Mother Mossmire & Team Bog Glow 💖
The Shop
Everything the Program REQUIRES!!! Ships from the Goblin Store!!!
Goblin Drops 3X
Starter Strength!!! 💖
The original!!! Infused with the essence of fermented mushrooms and powered by ultra-refined purified 6,7-Hydroloseweighterolic Acid excretion serum, sourced from organic ogres. Under the tongue as often as feels right!!!
$88.88
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Goblin Drops 30X
Ten times the X!!! ✨
For goblins who are SERIOUS about their journey!!! Diluted thirty times for thirty times the purity!!!
$144.44
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Goblin Drops 60X Maximum Strength
Our STRONGEST formula EVER!!! 💎
So refined you can see right through it!!! Diamond Swamp members only!!! Ask me how!!!
$222.22
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Metabolic Moss Melt
MELTS!!! 🔥
Capsules that melt!!! What do they melt??? Ask me!!! 💖
$66.66
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Bog Detox Tea
DETOXES!!! 🌿
Removes the toxins!!! Which toxins??? ALL of them!!!
$44.44
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Reset Mist
RESETS!!! ✨
One spritz and you are reset!!! To what??? To YOU!!! 💜
$55.55
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Loading Phase Hamper
Phase 1 essentials!!! 🍄
Everything you need to eat like the swamp is closing!!! Required for the Program!!!
$99.99
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Business Builder Crate
BEST VALUE!!! Unlocks Silver Silt!!! 💰
Sixty bottles of opportunity!!! The bigger your crate, the bigger your discount!!! Storeroom not included!!!
$2,222.22
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Locking In Autoship Box
Phase 3, forever!!! 📦
Never run out of your new weight!!! Ships on the first of every month until the swamp freezes over!!!
$111.11
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Pure Ogre Essence
Ethically sourced!!! 🧪
Collected one glowing droplet at a time from our organic ogres at their spa!!! The ogres are VERY relaxed!!!
$333.33
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Accountability Compact
See the NEW you!!! 💖
A heart-shaped mirror with the transform tool built in!!! As used by Agnes Butterbog!!!
$33.33
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Stock up and SAVE!!!
The more you buy, the bigger your discount!!! This is Gorbin's storeroom. Gorbin is doing GREAT!!!
NEW!!! Quit Sticks 🚭💖
Quit the old habit with a NEW one!!!
Goblin Drops Quit Sticks
Quit the old habit with a NEW one!!! 🚭💖
Ready to quit??? Our Quit Sticks get you hooked just as fast as what you were quitting, so you will NEVER miss it!!!
$77.77
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Quit Sticks Family Pack
Twenty sticks!!! Quit twenty times!!! 🔁
For goblins who quit a LOT!!! Share with the whole burrow!!!
$199.99
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Quit Sticks Ember Edition
Now LIT!!! 🕯️
Our customers asked for a Quit Stick that feels EXACTLY like the real thing!!! So we lit it!!!
$99.99
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“I used to smoke like a chimney. Now I quit with a whole pack of Quit Sticks at once!!! Way more efficient!!!”
— Fennick Drool
“mmmff mmf MMMFF!!! 💖 (He says he has never felt more quit.)”
— Fennick Drool (later)
“The Ember Edition is so realistic!!! My eyebrows are gone!!! I have never been so free!!!”
— Fennick Drool (Ember Edition)
Goblin Drops, its coach, its plan and its results are fictional.