Goblin Drops

with Mother Mossmire & Team Bog Glow 💖

The Program

Four phases to a NEW you!!! Follow them exactly!!! (You can't.)

  1. Phase 1: Loading

    Eat like the swamp is closing!!! This sets your goblinism!!! Mother Mossmire cannot explain what goblinism is, but she can tell when yours is set!!!

  2. Phase 2: The Drops

    Goblin Drops under the tongue as often as feels right!!! Eat only from the Approved Foods List!!! Results are measured with the transform tool, in the presence of Agnes Butterbog!!!

  3. Phase 3: Locking In

    Keep your new weight forever by buying Phase 2 again at the start of every month, on autoship!!!

  4. Phase Life

    Lifelong membership of Team Bog Glow!!! There is no Phase After Life!!! We checked!!!

The Approved Foods List

Print it out!!! Stick it on your fridge!!! Eat nothing else!!!

  • A photograph of a vegetable

  • A mushroom's shadow

  • A rumour about bread

  • The smell of a fresh coin

Choose your strength!!!

The higher the X, the purer the drop!!!

  • Goblin Drops 3X

    Starter Strength!!! 💖

    Active ingredient: 6,7-Hydroloseweighterolic Acid (ogre-sourced)

  • Goblin Drops 30X

    Ten times the X!!! ✨

    Active ingredient: yes

  • Goblin Drops 60X Maximum Strength

    Our STRONGEST formula EVER!!! 💎

    Ingredients: bog water, Goblin (trace)

Mother Mossmire smiling and shrugging

“What's in it??? What ISN'T in it!!!” 💖

Ready??? Get your drops →

Goblin Drops, its coach, its plan and its results are fictional.